mugen_edamame | Fic: What makes a man?

Words cannot express the weirdness of coming to school one day and having this pop up in your mind. Must be because mind is hiding from the 9 hours' worth of classes today >_> Brain stops being lucid, then. Also one day I will become ball-sy enough to post this on FF or wherever, instead here in my sad, sad little piece of online mind. But I am vaguely proud of the title to this one though.

Title: What makes a man?
Rating: K+
Pairings/Characters: Yuuri and Wolfram, mentions of other family members
Warnings: brain-breaking crack, descriptions of an intimate nature
Genre: Crack
Disclaimer: Author does not own KKM
Summary: Yuuri and Wolfram fight to decide whose brother is manlier, and decide that a real man's chest must be puffed with pride... and body hair.
A/N: Crack. Because it alleviates the insanity in my mind, and lets me actually study instead of breaking into weird fits of laughter. For

seamusog

because you make me feel proud to write fanfiction (awwww....!)

oOoOo

"I assure you, your brother resembles some rare...weed, a double black one, of course, all respect to his future Majesty, but a weed nonetheless"

Ah, fights for my-brother-over-yours-not-in-a-naughty-way supremacy!

The magnificence of familial love!

"Sure Shouri isn't all barrel-chested and growly like Gwendal, but he's plenty manly! He's growing chest hair!"

Because between physiologically teenaged boys, chest hair is big in a big way.

"Well, I did say a rare weed. The Elimyth has a furry stem, just so you know. My big big brother, now there's a man! His chest hair is so... so long and manly and strong, it could lasso Adalbert!"

That last claim couldn't legally, manly-ly be proven without an intensely awkward kind of embarrassment settling for eternity over both men, and Wolfram knew it, and so he claimed and claimed away.

Also, no one has ever seen Gwen's mythical chest hair, despite everyone having seen his naked chest, so...

Gwennie, you player you!

It wasn't that Gwendal wasn't capable of growing a veritable bush on his chest; it was because Anissina disliked chaffing, and what Anissina disliked, Gwendal knew better than to sound an opposition to.

"And Weller! His chest hair is practically legendary! It's so... thick and coarse, most people believe that's how he survived the massacre at Luttenberg! The swords couldn't get past the hair!"

Also untrue. Conrad survived by virtue of stunning his foe with remarkably un-funny jokes, and to a lesser degree, his swordsmanship skills.

Yozak was also not fond of chaffing.

L.O.L

"Just because your brothers have some kind fo weird... hair hormone gland on overdrive in their chests, doesn't mean you can call my brother a weed!"

"It's an affectionate nickname!"

"Weed cannot be pronounced with affection!"

Hah!

"If you ask me, there appears to be something fundamentally wrong with referring to you as our greatest warrior, but you don't hear me voicing a complaint!"

"This has got to be the stupid-est argument ever!"

"Stupid-est isn't a word, wimp"

Didn't mean that Wolf doesn't agree, but a man has got to have principles, even if he couldn't quite seem to cultivate a mat of manly chest hair.

Also didn't mean Wolf (and Yuuri, the secretive wimp!) would stop applying liberal amounts of hair-growth formula to his chest, but.

But.

It was the manly men's way, after all.

Unless you asked Yozak and Anissina.

But.

Yeah.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

This.. This is.. uh, hairy chested-men...
*brain goes overwork*

told you it made no sense ;_;
what did you expect? The words that inspired this were:
chest hair, and
could lasso Adalbert

XD i hope it amused you at least, pan-chan!

Just so you know, I almost died laughing.

it could lasso Adalbert Gwendal chest hair tentacle raep!

most people believe that's how he survived the massacre at Luttenberg! The swords couldn't get past the hair! buwhahahahahaha.

And Anissina and Yozak not liking chest hair.

By the way, it is canon that Yuuri dared Wolfram to grow chest hair. It was in that Drama CD with Waltorana, Wolfram and Yuuri. Yuuri had mentioned that Wolfram was not man enough for him (I think so that Waltorana and Wolfram would quit talking about marriage) and that he'll marry him if he could grow chest hair. And of course Wolfram says something like, 'you want chest hair, I'll give you chest hair'.

Best way to die, without a doubt

Because AniGwen and ConYoz is as canon as WolfYuu, and they do not enjoy roughing it

O_O It's so heart-warming, when the weirdest fic I write is still NOT AS WEIRD as canon. And Waltorana is tied for my second favouritest Bielefeld EVER.

'you want chest hair, I'll give you chest hair'.
How could Wolfram not be everyone's favourite character? HOW? XD

...That was hilarious. XDD I actually read another fic where Yuuri and Shouri fought over who was manlier, Shouri or Conrad. Can't remember, exactly, but I think they found out that their brothers were in a relationship with one another. o_O = YuuRam expression, LOL. I like the comments about Anissinna and Yozak not liking chaffing. XD The Cheri boys (except maybe Wolf) are so whipped. ^^ It's why we love them, though.

I think Yuuri is wrong. Wolfram can pronounce insults with affection. He does call Yuuri 'Wimp,' after all. XD This is hilarious! :D

All of Celi's boys are whipped. It's just hard for Wolf to look a wimp in front of Yuuri XD And I haven't read that fic... The main inspiration for this story wasn't manliness. It was the fact that the words "it could lasso Adalbert" entered my brain and refused to leave.

I'd forgotten writing this little thing XD And wimp is about as affectionate an insult as insults get, that's true

Fic: What makes a man?

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